Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What I did when I may or may not have had the swine flu


Last week.... sucked. I got sick after a most excellent camping trip with my clan (which for the purposes of anonymity, will be called the "Foot Clan"). Anyways, I got back and got sick. It sucked so hard. Normally I don't get sick because I drink a ridiculous amount of Mountain Dew which makes me awesome. That and I dropkick a lot of people which means I stay healthy and limber. But I woke up one morning and felt all crappy, which is probably what it feels like to be a hippie. I call this "the SUCK".

So I was laying down on my couch, and decided to watch a movie on demand. There were many choices of movies to watch... including countless Adam Sandler movies and other movies about awesome things. But I decided to change it up a bit and watch "Freddie Got Fingered" starring Tom Green. Let me just say that although it was overall quite awesome, I have determined that Tom Green is a sick, sick man. No one should ever touch horse gentials, and he did. If I met Tom Green I would immediately do a flying dropkick to his face which would instantly crush his skull. I would also do this to Barbara Streisand and Yanni. And the guy from the Sham Wow commericals. And that dude who does all the other info-mercials. And the old dude who does the diabetes commericals, the one who was on that stupid show during the 80's. And the old dude who does the Art institute commericals. And Jim Sokolov. And that stupid nerdy guy who wrote that book about natural remedies. And Oprah. And all the hosts of the view. And Judge Judy.... I could go on like this for hours. Basically they all suck and deserve to be dropkicked. The End.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Ninja Pirate Art Gallery

Pirate here, just letting you know that me and the ninja painstakingly wasted hours of paid time at work creating the finest paintings, actually MS Paintings...many of which are featured prominently...all the way down the page...on the right...in a column...on this here blog 200% Awesome.

As a side note, ninjas and pirates have often times reported to us that our "art" is particularly emotional, to the point where it has caused many of the following reactions:

* Losing control
* Going into beast mode
* Enjoying dinner at Olive Garden with a loved one
* Watching footage of the NFL Draft on ESPN only to find that the Patriots traded their pick AGAIN and you're NEVER GOING TO SEE YOUR TEAM MAKE A SELECTION
* Single tears
* Writing unanswered fan mail to Chuck Norris
* sipping Diet Mountain Dew out of a wine glass
* chugging a bunch of Gatorade and then practicing dance moves
* meditating at the dojo of your choice
* ordering a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's
* taking your pirate ship to Cuba and putting on a rock show for all the babes

Hopefully those of you who faithfully read already have joined our Twitter page by now at http://www.twitter.com/200percent and vice versa, our new twitter friends will now faithfully read this blog (I'm not going to post the address it's right up there). Also I'm calling out all of you artists out there, CREATE NINJA AND PIRATE ART. There are so many starving ninja and pirate artists out there who are starving, and in the case of the ninjas, not scoring with babes AT ALL. I mean, girls only want guys who have great skills. Cmon people. Read a book. Or watch a movie or play a video game.

Scurvily yours,
Surly Blondbeard

Monday, April 27, 2009

Awesome reviews of our site

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mike
linkreferral.blogspot.com
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Friday, April 24, 2009

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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

STAR TREK AWESOME



Check it. Lego's and Star Trek are awesome. Therefore it belongs on this site. Also, we have decided that we now pretty much own the internet, as well as Earth. We are now venturing for dominion of outer space from the grasp of the evil hippies and rednecks out there. Thus we are trying to raise money through this awesome site to build a "Star Ship" on a 5 year "Star Trek". I'll keep you posted.

I love how original this site is.

This site....


Is the LAMEST site of all time.


FAIL.


Awesome Advertisement


Who sucks more?

THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME

  • A
  • Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
  • B
  • Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
  • Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
  • Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
  • C
  • Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
  • D
  • Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
  • F
  • Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
  • H
  • Hippies - lamest form of life ever
  • L
  • Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
  • N
  • Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
  • T
  • Tuesday - something that sucks
  • Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.