You have got to be....f*cking kidding me.
This blog is approaching its one year anniversary, August 8th, 2008. 8/8/08 for those of you who can't read (or write). We have received zero awards. We have received zero offers to buy this website and all of its intellectual property. This is me, Surly Blondbeard, calling you out.
Me and my business partner, the somewhat present but always dominating Ninja Master, known to some as Joel, have dedicated hours and hours of company time towards compiling the most awesome things of all time on one easy to reference platform, the 200% Awesome blog. We are connected via Technorati (love you), Facebook (thanks for destroying my life), Myspace (you're like the Scott Baio of the Internet right now, step it up b*tch), and a whole bunch of other stuff.
I have been experiencing some hard times lately. Such as, oh let's take a look, I'm in a totally sick band now which pretty much dominates harder than an exploding volcano giving Cuban chicks laughing parties with its liquid hot MAGMA. I've also been drinking more. Eating less. Making mad bills. And I'm like this close to acquiring the greatest vehicle built by some of the greatest people on Earth. Thank you Sweden, and thank you Volvo.
So there you have it, I'm sick of this crap, I'm gonna go grab some sushi or a salad and flex my muscles all around town because it's lunchtime dammit. Somebody buy the 200% Awesome brand. It's a cash cow that makes the sweetest cash milk and the juiciest cash steaks. It's cash fed 200% Awesome cash beef. Oh baby I'm on fire right now. Thanks for reading. AWW YEAH DUDE.
Awesomely yours,
Matt the Bada$$ Surly Pirate
Thursday, June 26, 2008
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.