So I was playing NBA Jam on Sega Genesis one day and I realized how totally sick the Charlotte Hornets were. Zo teamed up with Gram Ma Ma. Nobody can stop this. Oh let's go with the Phoenix Suns...Charles Barkley? Dan Majerle? Who's coming to play?! Depends on the version you have. Or the Seattle Supersucks. Shawn Kemp. Detlef Schrempf. Oh great now I'm totally gonna go on a tirade about Detlef Schrempf. That guy sucks so bad. That guy is the guy who's at the carnival and he says you're too short to ride that ride but really it's because the ninjas got real scared on the ride and they have difficulty dealing with their emotions.
In other news, the Red Sox are friggin awesome. Ever since they got rid of their head ninja, Manny Ramirez and allowed the rowdy pirates of Pedroia, Youkilis and basically the entire pitching staff take over, it's been ridiculous out there. JD DREW is amazing. Now don't get me wrong...a rowdy team of pirates needs a couple ninjas out there to level things out.
Jason Varitek. Jason Varitek is like David Carradine from Kung Fu. Or David Carradine from the Yellow Book commercials. Anyways, I really don't have time in my life to keep up with blogging. I play on the most ridiculous kickball team of all time, we are undefeated and we kick more balls than Rochambeau himself. I also have been meeting a lot of cool people in my journey, ninja siren babes who sing the most beautiful karaoke, bodacious pirate babes who used to wear eye patches, bartender ladies who remember my name and simply say "What the F*** Do you want Giorgio?!?!"
Things are really awesome. On this day. The Friday of Excellence. Which helps us remember that although Friday is a day of almighty beastmodical righteousness, it is on Sumday when the great gods of ninjas and pirates alike join forces together, in the high heavens, to drink Diet Mountain Dew and rip totally sick solos on their Fender Nashville style Telecasters with the Seymour Duncan hot rails built in for extra hard southern rock mind-bottling face melting heart shredding brain freezing quadricep crampening 29 minute long versions of 4 minute songs so that you think the next guy is gonna take the next solo but then all of a sudden he starts breaking into Frankenstein by Edgar Winter Group at which point you're pretty much in it for the long haul because the rock is like an invincible force field that's also invisible so you can't even see how awesome it is but you can definitely feel it just like on that episode of Lost where those giant metal things are like fences that you can't go through unless you're that bad guy on the others but he would totally die in the next season if he actually heard the type of guitar solos I am talking about here which would pretty much be the only way to end that show?! Oh and by the way, I've been working on some acoustic guitar riffs because to be honest, that's the coolest way to add on to your already massive pile of babes.
Friday, October 17, 2008
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.