The following is an excerpt from the top Secret Ninja Book of Excellence, Chapter 23; verses 12-21.
12 And then the ninja flew through the air doing a triple axle into a crowd of hippies and kicked all their faces in until they exploded. 13 It was awesome. 14 And then the ninja ripped out a super sweet Gibson Les Paul and started playing "One" by Metallica, which is impressive because it's really hard, you would know that if you played it on Guitar Hero.
15 Then all the sudden Metallica got all pissed off because they get all pissy about copyrighting stuff and plus they suck and don't write good music anymore. 16 This started a great battle between the members of Metallica and the great Ninja, and the Ninja started to insult Metallica like real bad saying stuff like "you guys are a giant pile of SUCK". 17 Lars Ulrich responded by saying "No we don't.. you guys". And right there the Ninja did a sick guitar solo where he played Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Child with his toes.
18 Metallica left in shame, hanging their heads and having to change their pants because they lost control and crapped all over the place. 19 Then the most massive pile of gold and babes dropped out of the sky and spread throughout the land. 20 This is the first occurrence of "gold" and "babes" ever recorded, given to us by the Great Ninja GOD. 21 Unfortunately with this came the first pirates, which have been after the gold and babes ever since.
The End.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.
3 comments:
Every Sumday, while pirates are still sleeping, this kind of crap happens? Forget that, we've got to shape up or SHIP OUT! YARR!!!
(yes I said Sumday)
Yes, it happens on Sumday, which is the Ninja Holy Day... it's the day dedicated to flipping out and killing pirates everywhere. It's awesome.
This needs to get added to the Awesome glossary.
"No we don't...you guys..."
Best part of the whole entry.
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