After a quick chat with Captain Gone 2 Far about Scott Harrison, I went back to my desk and put on my headphones to block out the incessant sounds of Russian techno, coworkers talking to themselves and other general nonsense. The song, "Hook" by Blues Traveler, right in the middle of one of the seven harmonica solos he plays in that song. And then the idea came up.
Scott Harrison vs. John Popper of Blues Traveler. Each guy gets one weapon, Popper's is obviously the harmonica. Scott Harrison's I'm not sure. But I'm gonna come up with a bunch of other matchups and then we'll start debates and put together a bracket for the tournament and it's all gonna end up on CNN. I'm losing my mind. Got it? Break!
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.
3 comments:
Scott Harrison's weapon is an extra large turkey sub with extra lettuce wrapped and in a paper bag. Given these facts, I would call it an even matchup, most likely lasting several hours with blood, sweat and turkey sandwich pieces all over the place....
UPDATE! Preview of matches!!
Cuban womens volleyball team vs. surly blondbeard, div 1.
Also:
Barack Obama vs. The Rock,
Sean Connery vs. Rosie O'Donnell, Brett Favre vs. The Patriots defense.
Chris Tucker vs. Jackie Chan, div 2
Also: Scott Harrison vs. John Popper, John McCain vs. Eddie Vedder, Captain Gone 2 Far vs. Tom Brady
Jessica Simpson vs. Joel, div 3. Also: Ashlee Simpson vs. Milli Vanilli, Darth Vader vs. Will Smith, 50 Cent vs. Donald Trump
Chuck Norris vs. Predator, div 4
Also: Alien vs. Paris Hilton, Michael Phelps vs. Bigfoot, 100 Hippies vs. 100 Rednecks (protest and pride match)
Some say this is the main event of the first round. More to come. I will be putting this into a true bracket form very soon, please by all means make substitutions if you feel that someone deserves it more.
Also: I need your help thinking of weapons and most likely writing up some summaries of some of these matches, please email everything to:
200percentawesome@gmail.com.
THAAAAAAAAANKS
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