Who is Ken? I'll tell you. He is a living legend.
A few facts about Ken:
-He was born in outer space, and inherited some super powers from an alien lifeform that made him the greatest entertainer of all time.
-His albums didn't sell well here on Earth, but his album titled "Ken: by request only" has sold more times than any other album in the galaxy. He is a legend among far more intelligent alien beings.
- His music has helped spread intergalactic peace everywhere.
-He could stop global warming if he wanted to, but he really enjoys warm weather.
-Ken's album cover (pictured on this site) was named the worst album cover of all time, which is ironic because that determination was made on opposite day, making it the GREATEST album cover of all time for the greatest album of all time.
-Ken's helmet hair is stronger than steel. It is also the most fire resistant material ever found. The government wanted a piece of it to study it, but Ken wouldn't allow it, instead he dropkicked a bunch of people until everyone left him alone.
-Ken currently resides somewhere in Iowa. This is because no one really lives in Iowa, and Ken is such a phenomenal superstar, he must keep a low profile.
-If you ever stared Ken in the eyes, you would probably grow sideburns and a mustache. Or just die. But Ken doesn't look anyone in the eyes, even himself.
-Ken owns the largest collection of combs in the galaxy.
-He shares a lot in common with Superman, except Ken's superhero suit is made of polyester and looks way more sweet.
-If you play his music backwards, Ken will haunt your dreams forever.
11 comments:
Ken is my Dad and if I look myself in the eyes I too grow a mustache.
I was on tour with a band and we stopped at a gas station in Des Moines. The man who pumped our gas was no other than Ken. I did not know who Ken was at this time, but I do know that once he pumped our gas and we gave him the money, I started the van back up and we flew off a bridge and when we landed we were at Wrigley Field.
This is the word of Ken, thanks be to Ken. Except we were trying to go to Ann Arbor! Thanks for nothin' Ken. Please don't kill me.
Ken vs. Chuck Norris, cage match! They would kill each other, eliminating both of my biggest ninja enemies.
I thought Ken was Archie's Dad? They look so much alike however dislike each other becuase of one a nija and one a pirate!
Um, wrong. The fight would just keep going on forever, since they both posess awesome power (Chuck Norris with his amazing roundhouse kicks, and Ken with his inpenatrable helmet hair). Thus, they would never fight eachother, because they both respect and admire the other's power. The real question is, what would happen if they teamed up? My guess is: domination.
Final Jeopardy: Ninja, Pirate, Hippie. Midway through regular Jeopardy, Ken kills Trebek.
This blog will be written shortly.
I'm starting the slow clap for you sir.
What is Ian doing in your Blog....
?????????
And what do Ninja's and Pirate doing listening to Bob Marleys Son... Singing how beautiful his hair is....???
What kind of Ninja's And Pirates Are you????
I really wonder????
And who is eating my chips and Soda... ?????
And customer service wants to know were you guys get the time to write all this...
WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TOO IN ACCOR SERVICES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END!!!!!!!!
That's the beauty of the 1 hour lunch break Accor graciously gives to us. And we promptly waste that time writing on this blog....
My life would be so much more fulfilling if I spent my lunch breaks enjoying my life, instead I write this blog to the masses. Are you satisfied?!?! Are you?!?!
Alright break's over, back to work, talk to you guys later.
This is more or less my Halloween costume, leaning towards more.
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