Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Mourning.



Take a good long look, ninjas.


(As described by the good people at dunkindonuts.com)



"Sweet maple and real cheddar cheese.Made with scrambled egg, maple sausage and cheddar cheese served on a freshly baked croissant - this breakfast sandwich provides a surprisingly sweet flavor combination. But hurry - Maple Cheddar is around for a limited time only!"




Correction: NOT AVAILABLE. YOU CANNOT PURCHASE THIS SANDWICH. THEREFORE BY THE TRANSITIVE PROPERTY YOU MAY NOT EAT THIS SCRUMPTIOUS EGG SANDWICH. I KNOW AT LEAST 2 NINJAS THAT WOULD DO A TRIPLE FLIP DROP KICK TO BILL GATES IF HE COULD SOMEHOW BUY THIS SANDWICH. NO COMBINATION OF GOLD, BABES AND NINJA ATTACKS WILL EVER BRING THIS SANDWICH BACK. IT HAS STOLEN YOUR HEART AND SOUL. THE MAPLE CHEDDAR BREAKFAST SANDWICH WAS THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER CREATED BY PIRATES BECAUSE IT BRINGS THE NINJAS FIRST MELTY CHEESY MAPLEY GOODNESS AND LEAVES THEM WITH SADNESS AND PAIN. LOOK AT THE PICTURE, YOU WILL NEVER EAT ONE AGAIN.


This post was created solely to make ninjas hungry and sad.

12 comments:

LN said...

Well. Due to this post, pirates have officially forfeited their rights to recepit of an egg sandwich in the future.

Anonymous said...

Pirates - 1
Ninjas - crying in the corner

Matthew Thornton said...

The author of this ridiculous post failed to mention the real reason why the maple cheddar breakfast sandwich is no longer offered by Dunkin Donuts. Once ninjas everywhere started to eat this delicious sandwich, they realized that it gave them the ability to do incredible ninja moves and make them invincible. It's kind of like getting the star in super mario brothers on nintendo. Anyways, once pirates realized this, they would have no part in it. Since the National Pirate Accociation of North America (NPNA) owns a 51% share in Dunkin, they abruptly pulled the sandwich from their menu, even though they were recording record sales and crime in the US was at an all time low (wonder why). Stupid Pirates.

Anonymous said...

Touche

LN said...

Also pirates shouldnt be so hasty towards their chritable donation of egg sandwich recieved via Ninjas. Smelly pirates that live in cardboard boxes should be thankful when offered said sandwich. Not angry that someone thought of them.

Matthew Thornton said...

Rule #1 about Pirates: They are never grateful for anything.... ever. This is one of the many reasons why ninjas despise pirates so much.

Give a pirate an egg sandwich and you feed them for a day. Teach them how to make the sandwich and...well it's pretty much impossible to teach a pirate anything other than looting so, nevermind.

Giorgio said...

Quick reminder: A pirate invented this sandwich. Who else would make a sausage egg and cheese and accidentally get a whole bunch of maple syrup all over it?

The pirate genius who invented this sandwich was probably still drunk from the night before when he made it for breakfast.

This pirate's name? Why, Surly Blondbeard, of course. He may not remember inventing this sandwich, doesn't make it any less delicious.

Anonymous said...

Who cares about all that crap.. looking at the picture is making me pretty hungry. :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha

Anonymous said...

Where's the new material?

Anonymous said...

you should eat a mcgriddle sandwich from mcdonalds. it makes me happy and i'm a ninja.

Anonymous said...

Wilma did not say she likes McGriddles... Either...

Who sucks more?

THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME

  • A
  • Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
  • B
  • Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
  • Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
  • Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
  • C
  • Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
  • D
  • Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
  • F
  • Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
  • H
  • Hippies - lamest form of life ever
  • L
  • Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
  • N
  • Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
  • T
  • Tuesday - something that sucks
  • Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.