Talk Like A Pirate Day

Log - A book where all you pirates can write about your daily adventures. Don't forget to include dates, times and places. Oh yes, and NAMES!

(From "A Real Pirate Dictionary For Real Pirates")



"My story" by Surly Blondbeard

On a day like today, I be rather thankful that we pirates have these "Interwebs" to keep our logs of our daily adventures. I have been on many daring adventures lately, including a journey to New Hampshire and a riveting game of kickball. In addition, I had graced with my pirate presence a little something called the Sam Adams Beer Summit. Once I found out that there was a castle in Boston chock full of bountiful treasures such as grog and booty, I could not possibly resist.



However, I will not be writing about these tales today. In fact, I will most likely not remember any of them. Today I write about Talk Like A Pirate Day. Or maybe about buried treasure. Or maybe I'll begin writing me memoirs. Pirates always have the best memoirs. I mean, have you ever read a memoir written by a ninja? Exactly.



One time, a ninja read to me a story he wrote. It was a ghost story about a big bad ghost that haunted his dojo. The dojo landlord told all the ninjas that it was an ominous presence in the dojo that wanted the ninjas to train harder and sacrifice more of their monthly income for the dojo and the ghost master that haunted the ninjas from within the dojo walls. It was the bloody heater making that racket. For lack of a better term, ninjas are a bunch of ******s.



Anyways, I was going to write about Talk Like a Pirate Day. Can you believe that the Saints lost to the Buccaneers? I certainly can. They have a matey on that team named Cadillac. I don't know what that be, but it sounds like it's worth a lot of loot! I like the Buccaneers because they have no manners and they would be a fine crew for a pirate ship. And how about them Pirates? Yarrr, tis a terrible baseball club.



Talk Like A Pirate Day, right. What's the deal with OJ Simpson? Did someone really steal his sh*t? Don't blame the pirates on this one, matey. We was simply working our day jobs whilst those robberies took place. Why would pirates decide to plunder the memorabilia of your crazy arse anyways? Kind of like the time I stole that autograph of Walter Payton, or the time me and my fellow scallywags thrifted a giant Coffee Coolatta sign from Dunkin Donuts (which at the time, the pirates did not own).



Let me also take this opportunity to write about one of the finest swashbucklers around. His name is Surly Blondbeard. What a handsome lad! Yar, tis I. Ladies all around, I be here. I can grill a mean steak, as I did learn from the Buccaneers when they landed in the Caribbean and learned to cook steaks, a skill they translated into a pirate invention known as the "tailgate party". For you history buffs out there, the term tailgate party comes directly from pirate ships of yore.



Aye, t'isnt true. I made it all up. But I can still grill a mean steak. I don't remember what I was supposed to write about here, something special going on today but I simply cannot recall. Maybe it's the grog talking, but this log seems to be getting rather full. I shant write anymore, however this evening I might need to sing some sea shantys and go find some ninjas to make them walk the plank.



I hope to read some more stories from those landlubbin ninjas later on. If I remember any of my other stories, I will write them in the log for another day. In the meantime, please tell your fellow pirates (and even ninjas) on this day to read these stories and wish everyone a happy...now what the hell was today again? YARRR!!!