So yesterday, I was practicing my roundhouse kicks outside my house in a random parking lot. I was wearing all black, wearing a mask, looking inconspicuous and everything. And all of the sudden, these pirates come out of nowhere, and there were 9 or 10 of them. But they weren’t regular pirates; they were midget ones with midget swords and midget hats and everything, they looked rough. They surround me and are like “so Ninja-boy, what are you doing?” and I’m like “what the crap does it look like? I’m practicing my roundhouses!” and they were like “why?” and I’m like “to kill people”. This made them shudder; I don’t think they had ever come so close to a ninja before. Then their leader was like “hey, do you want to grab a beer or something?” and I said to them “um, don’t you guys know that ninjas and pirates totally hate each other? Besides, you guys totally smell bad”. They nodded and then they told me that they weren’t even real pirates, they were just some retired midgets that were randomly wearing some ugly pirate costumes because they got totally hammered the night before and thought it would look cool. And I said, “That’s kind of lame…..hey I know of a good bar down the street” and we proceeded to party hard and kicked the crap out of everyone at the bar, it was awesome. And then after a few hours they were like “ninjas and pirates should totally hang out more” and I said “yeah….” And then I flipped out and did one HUGE roundhouse kick that hit every one of their heads. The whole bar exploded and I vanished into thin air. Then I randomly ended up somewhere in Wisconsin and got really pissed because Wisconsin totally sucks, and I had to give Brett Favre a flying close-line to the face. He was like “Whoa! Hey! What the crap was that??!!” And I told him “Dude, the Packers really suck”. That was the day I lost control.
The END
p.s. after that tremendous day, ninjas and pirates totally never sat around and drank beer together again. I think pirates finally learned their lesson. And the Packers are still totally lame.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.
6 comments:
Um yeah, so that was totally hilarious. Wisconsin blows. Only pirates live there.
Worst places of life. Wisconsin. France. That is all.
What is so wrong with Wisconsin? They do have a lot of beer there!! However, being from CA, the cows in Wisconsin do suck, as we have Happy Cows which makes better cheese!
the fact that people from California and Wisconsin developed an argument as to who's cows are happier is very troubling.
troubling yes... besides... everyone knows that Cuba has the best cheese... mostly because cheese made under a communist regime is packed full of love and diplomacy.
Packers are 3-0...
They still...SUCK.
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