The other side of the story
So one day, I was driving with my ninja homies, just kind of chilling. We do that sometimes, when we aren’t killing people and practicing our sweet ninja moves. In the background, “Back and Black” by AC/DC is blasting out of our sweet sound system. People everywhere are flipping out, mostly because they can’t handle the excellence of what they are seeing or hearing. The sight, the sound…. it’s incredible!
Anyways, so we are all wearing our ninja gear and various ninja paraphernalia; swords, bow staffs, ninja stars… it’s awesome. And we are totally ready to rock in an incredible way, which means we are ready to kill. And if we are really lucky, we might spot a pirate because ninjas instantly get super pumped when they are cracking pirate skulls; it’s one of the laws of the universe or some kind of crap like that.
Anyways, so we drive by this park and we spot this goofy kid who thinks he is playing hockey and he thinks that he is really good at it, but he really sucks. And one of my friends makes the comment “wow that guy….. sucks”. It was true. I think to myself, “This guy must be a pirate” which gets me really amped up. The way that he was clumsily running around like a drunken idiot and shouting swear words at the top of his lungs definitely gave his piracy nature away. Anyways, so he just all the sudden blurts out something about “back and black!”, which he heard from our sound system. This got us super pissed off because that is the ninja theme song and cannot be mention by any other type of person, especially pirates without some kind of ridiculous retribution.
We surround the pirate while doing all sorts of sweet ninja moves that would rock the socks off of the average person. He is shaking so hard from the awesomeness of what he was seeing and tries to make a run for it. We tried to follow him but the smell was so bad that we could barely stand up; that must be a secret pirate weapon or something.
Then, ran as hard as he could (which was pretty slow because of his awkward drunken nature) to his car, which was a piece of crap Buick LeSabre. The thing was so crappy that it almost imploded on him when he hopped in. Part of me felt sorry for this poor, dirty pirate. Maybe it was a change in my heart, maybe I was finding Jesus…. Or maybe it was just gas, I don’t know. But as he pulled off I forgot about all that crap and plugged in my Gibson Les Paul and ripped the sickest guitar solo ever played. The whole world listened as I played that beautiful piece of music and pirates everywhere crapped their pants like really bad, and ninjas started to get pumped up as never before seen. It was the day I call “Awesome Day”. That was the beginning of when I knew, like for sure…. 200% sure in fact, that I was the greatest ninja ever.
The End.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.
3 comments:
Proving my point yet again that ninjas are so ill and pirates are drunk and useless. Ninjas also listen to hardcore gansta rap. In fact, Pedro and his cousins from Napoleon Dynamite are definitely Ninjas. Clearly.
you obviously know your stuff when it comes to ninjas. well said.
Hey pipe down over there...
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