Wednesday, February 27, 2008

So True

Enough Said.

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Losing

This doesn't describe this site... in fact it's the exact opposite of what we do. But this poster describes most of the other stupid blogs out there. And to them I say, you guys are really terrific..... at losing.
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What Our Cars Look Like



Skippy's Nissan Sentra and Archie's Toyota Tercel. Because we are the sh*t.
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Happy Non-Blurnsday

First of all, just wanted to let you all know that I survived Blurnsday (formerly known as Tuesday) once again. Also, I did not spontaneously combust due to burning rage, and I did not ragify into Beast Mode and do a combo dropkick-piledriver move on Brittany Spears, instantly destroying her (though I really wanted to).
No, my Blurnsday was much more subdued. But even though it is no longer known as Tuesday, which is by far the most evil day of the week, I am still glad it is over. See, I thought I could destroy the whole idea of Tuesday forever by making it NOT Tuesday, and into a whole new day known as Blurnsday. But, in fact, Blurnsday also sucks, and I already hate the day known as Blurnsday. So next week, I shall call it Blankday. So if I don't see you next week, have a very safe and happy Blankday... because I know I sure as heck won't.
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Monday, February 25, 2008

Dead Rising and Jazzercising

8:00am. Alarm blares in my face. Shower. Change clothes. And go.


9:00am. Arrive at work. Re-acquaint self with the domination station. Fiercely prepare for the most dominant and beastmodical work day of all time. Mental gymnastics. Calisthenics. Check email.


9:57am. Senior citizens in building space below us begin pumping Eastern European techno tracks through their subwoofers.


9:58am. The sound of old people clogs stomping on parkay type dance floor resonates upward into my cubicle.

This has been my day so far. "Happy Monday".
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Who sucks more?

THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME

  • A
  • Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
  • B
  • Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
  • Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
  • Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
  • C
  • Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
  • D
  • Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
  • F
  • Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
  • H
  • Hippies - lamest form of life ever
  • L
  • Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
  • N
  • Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
  • T
  • Tuesday - something that sucks
  • Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.