Because a pirate alphabet goes A, C, D, and then C again. And then I forget the rest, shut the hell up. I will pirate hook the crap out of the Internet if that's what it takes. I haven't written a blog entry for a while and let me tell you why. You probably already know the answer. Hippies.
Here's a quick tale about how bad hippies suck. I was at Stop and Shop today. And you dum dums are probably asking oh hey what were you doing there and my answer is "What do you think?!".
So anyways, after I bought my box of Frosted Mini Wheats I walk out the door and I saw a hippie. I knew he was a hippie because he was holding a clipboard and he smelled like IT guys. I haven't been feeling well lately, so my ninja detection skills are down, but my hippie detection skills are forever. Because hippies are moronics. Good thing they aren't bionic, because let's face it, there is no man outside of Chuck Norris or all four of the ninja turtles that could possibly stop a bionic hippie. Okay I'm starting to feel emotional and I can't talk about bionic hippies any more.
Back to the task at hands, I used my peripherals and detected no ninjas. This is the first time I ever wished that a ninja was around, especially ninja master. Because let's face it, Ninja Master would have ran away scared back into Stop and Shop. And then I would have laughed and said "Oh man get a load of that ninja". But then I'd be surprised (not really but a little) that Ninja Master came back with a 2 liter bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. Except the 2 liter was EMPTY. And then after letting out the largest most astronomical belch of all time, the hippie would be destroyed by a stench greater than his own: the stench of beast mode.
After that awesome victory we'd go back into Stop and Shop victorious. That song by Muse would be playing, the one where the guy says WE. WILL. BE. VIC. TORIOUS. and all of the smokin' hot babes inside of Stop and Shop would be totally freaking out. And then oh man guess what would probably happen, the music inside of the food store would change into Rock Steady by the Whispers.
I should also add that the Stop and Shop I go to has a real guy that looks like Elvis. So I have the feeling that there could be tons more stories about this Stop and Shop. Alright that's really all I have for now, and may ever have.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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Who sucks more?
THIS GLOSSARY IS AWESOME
- A
- Awesome - everything on here is awesome, many other things are awesome, everything else sucks
- B
- Beast Mode - a spiritual and transcendental state of being, where you start to dominate at levels that cannot be recorded or even predicted. Things that may occur during Beast Mode include: death, destruction, total domination, logs found on top of fax machines, and much much more.
- Blankday - when Blurnsday started to suck (and boy does it ever suck) it was renamed to Blankday. This is getting ridiculous. Anyways, it's probably going to get renamed into something equally as retarded next week. Stay tuned.
- Blurnsday - formerly known as Tuesday, invented by Skippy and named by Archie to deny the existence of Tuesday
- C
- Celular - the name of our most awesome #1 fan.
- D
- Domination - one of the highest forms of winning
- F
- Final Jeopardy - when it's time not to give an answer, but ask the question...used often at 7:54pm on weeknights; sometimes closely related to laughing parties
- H
- Hippies - lamest form of life ever
- L
- Laughing party - Event that takes place when a ninja or pirate dude has an excellent, uh, sense of humor
- N
- Ninja- n., pl. ninja or -jas. A member of a class of 14th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations such as assassination and sabotage. They are known for their stealthiness and ability to flip out and kill people... besides that, they totally rock out hard, ripping guitar solos so sweet that it causes mass crapping of the pants. Their common enemy is the pirate.
- T
- Tuesday - something that sucks
- Us...a couple of complete morons with computers. otherwise known as a terrible combination.